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But then—THEN—I hit gold. Met this guy, total sweetheart, loves Wes Anderson too. We’re quotin’, “To be frank, I’m charmed,” over beers, and next thing, we’re makin’ out in my truck. Sparks flyin’—better than a tractor pull on Sunday! Fun fact: didja know Anderson based Gustave on some real-life concierge? Swear, it’s the little quirks that hook ya—same with sex-dating. It’s the weirdos who stick.

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Man, oh man, the neighborhoods are somethin’ outta a storybook. I love Passeio das Árvores—a peaceful park with ancient trees and quirky benches. Kids play near the duck pond, and old timers chat about the old days. One time, I saw a family picnic that made me cry happy tears, like in those slow-motion films. It was so spontaneous it made it hard to believe in its own jitters.

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