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About Rio de Janeiro

Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit – “Everything was good before!” some say, but nah, it’s always been mental. You might shag a stunner or end up with a nutter who nicks yer wallet. Pro tip – check their profile pics, if it’s all filters, run! Once saw a bird post a snap from 1890 or summat, swear it, fuckin sepia-toned, hilarious!

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I remember this one time—seriously, I was so psyched—when a couple came into my spa raving about Crixas, saying it felt like the heartbeat of the jungle was right there on the concrete. It hit me, you know, like, "This is the city!" Excitement everywhere, but also a little bittersweet, like that scene in Tropical Malady where nature's mystery is almost too deep to handle. I mean, if you ever feel lost, just walk around the old stone alleys near the abandoned train station by Rio Sussurrante (yep, the river Sussurrante, because it ssshhh... tells you its secrets).

Figure 2: Aerial view of Mineração Serra Grande and the city of Crixás...