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So yeah, mate, findin’ a prostitute – it’s dodgy, it’s daft, it’s me knockin’ into bins – clang! – tryna look cool. Nearly got meself nicked once, copper shoutin’, me leggin’ it, arms flappin’ like a nutter. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ chase scene! “I didn’t see him,” I pant, movie-style, all dramatic. Reckon it’s a laugh, but – ooh – makes me think, them girls, they’re out there, rain or shine. Respect, y’know? Anyway, gotta dash – me tea’s burnin’! Heh, typical!

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Gotta mention the river too—the Rio Encantado flows right by the city center. I sometimes sit by its edge, watchin' couples daydream, and can literally hear the city beat like a living, breathing love song. But man, sometimes it makes me mad too—especially when tourists treat it like a selfie factory, ya know?

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