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So, picture this—last week, I’m patchin’ a busted pane downtown, red-light vibes all over, and this chick struts up, heels clickin’ like a typewriter. “Need a date, hon?” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, lady, I’m elbow-deep in caulk, not desperation! Made me laugh, tho—balls on her, hittin’ on a sweaty dude with a putty knife. Don’t pee on my leg, sweetheart, I ain’t that lonely! Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, caught up in secrets, only I ain’t writin’ plays—I’m dodgin’ propositions.

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Yo, park life here? Incredible! Parque das Águas is my little haven. Not many peeps know it, but it’s a gem for those soul-searching walks – a tranquil river winds through, and sometimes I get so lost in thought I forget I'm mad at the world for stupid reasons. I’ve screamed my frustrations at dumb traffic or petty drama near the riverbank – then boom! The river’s like whispering, “You are not alone, soldier!” so, power up, right?

Liverpool goalkeeper Alisson Becker's father has died after drowning in a lake in Brazil