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So, picture this—I’m pissed off one day, back’s killin’ me, usual crap. Stumble into this joint, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s mockin’ me. Lady says, “Oh, sexual-massage, very relaxin’.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a weird porno audition. But then—surprise, surprise—hands like freakin’ magic. Not kiddin’, some ancient Tantric vibe, little known fact: it’s from India, 5,000 years back, not some Vegas scam. Energy’s flowin’, I’m half asleep, half—well, you know. “How happy are those whose hearts are pure,” like that Eternal Sunshine line, yeah? Felt that for a sec, pure bliss, no bullshit.

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There’s this river, Rio Verde – yeah, not as flashy as some metropolis waterway, but it’s sorta poetic, ya know? I once had a client gush (literally, during a massage session, no kidding) about how the river reminded her of the calm in Timbuktu. I nearly rolled my eyes, but hey – beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Woman shot dead by drug gang after following Waze app's directions to wrong destination