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Oh, and the slang – “on the blade” means she’s workin’. Cool, right? Learned that from a cabbie who knew too much. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe, but it’s a jungle out there, man. I’m like, “I must break you,” to the whole scene – take it down, figure it out. Still, it’s human, messy, real – like Zvyagintsev’s flick. No clean endings, just life.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Ampere.

You gotta hit up Luna Lane. This tiny street gives me feels, like my hidden stash of secret pleasure spots! Seriously, it's off the grid. I hopped off my ride one day there and TOTALLY got lost – turned out amazing though. I neva knew how spontaneous life could be, ya feel me?

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