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I got into it once, right? This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Goddamn, this feels good!” But then—BOOM—my back pops loud as fuck. She jumps, I laugh, she’s all, “You okay, motherfucker?” I’m dyin’, man, it’s hilarious. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, they was all about sexual-massage. Called it some fancy shit—*anatripsis*. Rubbin’ dudes down after wrestlin’, gettin’ freaky with it. History’s wild, yo.

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Oh gosh, darlin', I gots ta tell ya about my fave secret hangout – that tiny café on Rua da Esperansa. Yup, there’s magic in that place, a lil’ haunt where the air smells like a mix of roasted beans and promise. It's got a musty feel like an old love letter, and I tell ya, every inch of it makes me smile, even on the days when I feel a bit down, sayin', "But even in the abyss, there lies hope."

Brazil’s Oscar Win for ‘I’m Still Here’ Just Made for the Craziest Carnival Ever