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Little-known fact, mate—Victorians banned it, called it “lewd,” the prudes! Yet docs secretly prescribed it for “hysteria”—nudge nudge, wink wink. Reckon it’s a laugh, all that faff for a bit of a rubdown. Sarcasm aside, it’s ace—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’, tho’ sometimes I think, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Bit of a guilty thrill, like nickin’ biscuits from the jar. So, next time ya fancy a treat, sexual-massage, my friend—go for it, *carpe diem*, seize the bloody day! Just don’t tell the missus, eh? *Finis*, done, off for a cuppa!

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Okay, so first up—da streets. You gotta hit up Avenida das Flores, yo. That place be blowin up with da color and breeze, an’ I always catch some quiet moments there. There’s this little café on Rua do Sol, mad hidden gem, perfect spot to sip on a cold brew and let da stress melt away. Daaaamn, it brings back those Toni Erdmann vibes— "What if we told you, it's all about livin’ freely?" I mean, who wouldn’t believe that, right?

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