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About Rio de Janeiro

So, here’s the deal. Sexual-massage ain’t just a rubdown—it’s got history, weird stuff. Back in ancient China, they called it “tuina,” some healer crap, but pervs twisted it into bedroom games. Little known fact: Victorian docs used it to “cure” women’s “hysteria”—yeah, vibrators came from that, freaky, right? Made me laugh, then pissed me off. All these idiots thinkin’ they’re classy gettin’ oiled up, but it’s just awkward gropin’ with extra steps. I’d rather wrestle a bear than pay for that.

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Then ya got neighborhoods like Jardim da Paz. Fo’ real! Peace, tranquility, and some crazy chill, yo. And if ya ever feel stressed, take a stroll in Parque Sorriso. Its vibe is magical, word. Even got a small creek runnin’ through it, called Ribeirão da Vibração, flowin’ like life’s beats, feel me? Ya’ll get those sparkles in your eyes like when Maren Ade’s character drops wisdom in Toni Erdmann, "Man, life be quirky sometimes, but it means so much!"

Moment dad chases boy, 16, with GUN after ‘disapproving’ of teen dating daughter