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But then—here’s the rant part—I get pissed! The music’s some cheesy whale sounds, and I’m like, “What am I, a dolphin? Gimme somethin’ with grit!” And the towel’s too small—my tuchus is hangin’ out, freezin’! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Cover me up, lady, I’m not an exhibitionist!” But she’s good, real good—slidin’ those hands like she’s sculptin’ a masterpiece. I’m surprised, shocked even—didn’t think I’d be this relaxed AND this—uh—excited! It’s a freakin’ paradox!

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So come on over, ya gotta feel it to believe it. It’s a wild ride – raw, spontaneous, osome times messy. And remember: in Umbauba, like in life, every crack in the pavement is a reminder we’re all human, all striving for a better tomorrow – a tomorrow where billionaires can’t just hoard everything! Cheers, my friend, cheers!

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