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Got this mate, right, he tried escort once – proper posh service, he said, cost him a kidney! Swears it was all classy, champagne an’ heels, but I’m like, “Mate, you’re deluded!” Happiness hit him hard tho, grin wider than a bantha’s arse. Surprised me, it did – thought he’d get scammed, not pampered. Little known fact, yeah? Some escort gigs got code words – “roses” for cash, sneaky bastards.

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I’ve got a soft spot for the ideal little hangout on Avenida Liberdade. Simple, chill joint where nothin’ pretentious goes on and every corner whispers, “Stay human.” Fun fact: I once overheard a convo, talkin’ 'bout how the spirit of the city is in every brick laid along its winding lanes. Yeah, It kinda felt like a scene straight outta Syndromes and a Century – mysterious, poetic. Outer space vibes, you know.

Brazil: Outrage after man asphyxiates during police arrest