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Hiss! Erotic-massage, precious, yesss! Me likes it, me hates it – tricksy hands rubbing us! Saw it once, in shadows, like “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” – slow, dark, bodies twistin’ in quiet. “The night is long,” they says in movie, and ooh, erotic-massage feels long too, slippin’ oil everywhere! We gots mad once – some fool charged 200 bucks for a slippery tickle! Hiss! Robbery, it was, made me wanna claw somethin’. But then, happy – them soft fingers kneadin’ knots, oooh, precious, like findin’ gold in mud.

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I gotta mention my fav hidden gem, too – Largo da Paixao. It's a lil' square where old couples and hip singles meet, even though it's tucked behind some run-down warehouses. I once met a quirky poet there who ranted about life like Tony Montana yelling, "Say hello to my little friend!" – and damn, it hit deep!