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But here’s the kicker—everybody lies about it. “Oh, it’s just a massage,” they say, smirking. Yeah, right. You’re not fooling me, buddy. It’s a power trip too—someone’s got you half-naked, vulnerable, and you’re just lying there, hoping they don’t suck at it. Like in *Timbuktu*, when the jihadists roll in, all smug, controlling everything—same vibe, but with less guns and more lavender oil. I’d kill for a masseuse who’d whisper, “The river will flow again,” while she’s working out my knots. Poetic, right? Too bad most of ‘em just grunt and slap your ass to say “done.”

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I got my little quirks here too. Like, I sometimes scribble funny notes on my screen when I see someone classy from a dating site. It's just me, livin' the vibe busy and free, making magic happen. And yes, man, if I type too fast, expect like 14 typos, like blcknd wrds appear: "Ths is gr8, luv!" or "Sooo swt, raly!"

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