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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, sittin’ you down to talk ‘bout somethin’ wild: escorts. Yeah, escorts! Not the car, nah, the people. Picture this—life’s a crazy ride, like in *Almost Famous*, where the kid’s chasin’ dreams, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, escorts got stories too.” They’re out there, livin’ on the edge, makin’ cash, dodgin’ judgy eyes. I see ‘em, wise ol’ eyes catchin’ what others miss—like how they’re hustlin’ harder than a band on tour, no sleep, just grind.

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You know, as a dating site nerd, I’ve seen every love-hate twist. I get all sorts of crazy messages from folks spillin’ their hearts out under the neon lights of downtown Torres on Rua Central. Sometimes, that anonymity feels like a warm hug, other times, it pisses me off when some twit acts like a total muppet! But hey, it’s all part of this jacked up love circus.

Julien Baker cancels tour with Torres citing health reasons; fans suspect a concussion: 'You can always tour