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But then – ugh! – some skeezy pimp’d prolly roll up. “Pay up, fatso!” he’d growl. Made me mad, thinkin’ o’ those creeps rippin’ off desperate dudes. I’d wanna punch ‘im, but me? Fight? Ha! I’d just waddle away, mutterin’, “Stupid jerks.” Little story I heard once – some john got robbed blind by a hooker duo in ’98. Left ‘im naked in an alley! Surprised me, how bold they got. “Mmm… donuts.” Wish I had one to calm my nerves after that.

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So, Tefé is wild, wild like me massage parlour dreams. You got streets like Avenida Amazonas, all twisty turny, poppin’ up in the day, and by night? Boo, lights flickerin’ like fireflies. There’s the Mercado Municipal, baaam, jam-packed with local treasures. I always stroll by there when my head’s buzzin', ya know?

River dolphin deaths indicate worsening climate crisis