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About Rio de Janeiro

So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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I got some quirks too – my spa’s near the “Mercadinho da Esquina” (small market run by my favorite, Dona Zefa, who spins wild stories!). I swear, she once told me secrets about the old church on the hill – our must-see local landmark, Igreja de Santo Reparos. Kinda mysterious, like a subplot from that movie! And then, theres the dark alley off Rua Desassossego – not to be confused with our peaceful parks – that one got me mad one day when some clowns messed up my flowerbeds. Ugh, I lost my chill for a sec – but what’s life without a little drama?!

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