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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m Bart Simpson, the gnarly Picador, and I’m here to spill the beans on escorts, ‘cause why not? My fave flick’s “The New World” by Terrence Malick, that 2005 vibe—all quiet and deep, like Pocahontas staring into the wild. Escorts, man, they’re like that—mystaerious, y’know? They roll up, all fancy, and you’re like, “Whoa, what’s their deal?”

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The river? Oh, Larico River, it snakes by the outskirts, whispering tales of the old days. I used to chill there, puzzling at the current and thinking ‘bout life and nonsense, kinda like a improv monologue, only quieter. Kinda makes me mad sometimes when the water splashes you're unexpectedly soaked and then you gotta deal with it, all wet! Craziness!

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