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Gets me ragin’, tho – blokes lyin’ about their height. Mate, I’m 5’6” and proud, don’t need your “6’2” bullshit. Stupid, fat hobbit! Had this one date, girl shows up, smells like cheap perfume, talks over me. Nearly chucked me pint at her, but nah, I’m a gent. Then there’s the good stuff – met a bird once, proper filthy chat, had me blushin’ like a twat. “Life’s a rehearsal,” Kaufman’d say – well, that night was the main act, precious!

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I gotta mention the river – Rio das Paixões, silly name, but it's real chill. It winds right through the city, offering a reflective peace, like the final calm before some bizzare new dawn. Its banks? Seriously underrated for picnics, secret meetups. People rarely know how magical it is, almost like that hidden oasis in the middle of a wasteland – “Ride into the horizon,” dare I say.

Socorro ISD plans up to 300 layoffs, increased class sizes to deal with budget shortfall