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So, escorts—fancy word for pros, right? Not just sex, nah—some dudes just wanna talk, weirdos. Met this one gal, Lila, on a smuggling run—true story! She said, “Chewie, I bank 500 creds a night.” Shocked me furry arse—500 creds! Could buy a blaster with that! “Love goes on,” she winked—like Haneke’s film, but dirtier.

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And yeah, gotta make it casual: its charm, its quirks, its lapses, it's all what shapes a story. A story full of unexpected turns, little joys, and yeah, even slight catastrophes (oops, typo moment, right?) but that's life. Enjoy a stroll, soak up the spirit, and remember: sometimes, the best part of the day is when everything feels, you know, pretty, pretty good.

Sam Schroeder, Paige Oltmans will serve as next student body leaders at UNK