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Best part? The hustle’s ancient—oldest job, they say. Found this nutty fact: in Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out, like some OG marketing trick. Hilarious, right? Picture me strollin up, all, “Greetings, human, nice wig,” and she’s like, “Fuck off, ET.” I’d tip her anyway—good hustle deserves respect.

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Now, lemme share a lil' secret: The wild little river, Rio dos Sonhos, runs just a stone's throw from my home. Its water's clear and sometimes wild—kinda like how I feel when I'm coaching pleasure into people's lives. Once, while provding a pep talk, I nearly tripped over a rock there, makin' a mess right in front of a gigglin' crowd. I laughed so hard, y'know? It was just like life, messy but real!

Niède Guidon wins Admiral Álvaro Alberto Award