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We hates it! Scrollin’ Tinder, horny gits sendin’ dick pics—ugh, shrivels me toes! Once knew this lass, right, proper stunner, met her on Bumble. Thought, “Oh, Gollum’s got a prize!” Two dates in, she’s ghostin’ me—poof! Like Marion in the flick, tradin’ her soul for a fix. Sex-dating’s a trap, precious, all fake smiles n’ empty beds. Didya know, back in ’97, some geezer made a datin’ site for cheaters? Ashley Madison, yeah, got hacked—millions o’ blokes caught trousers down! Hilarious, but sad, innit?

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Oi, meu chapa, lembras de quando te falei que São-Miguel (br) é pura magia? Pois é, agora te conto tudinho... So, imagine this: calles estreitas e cheias de charme tipo Rua dos Girassóis, onde o sol se debruça sobre fachadas coloridas – uff, de arrepiar! And then there's Largo da Alegria, um espacinho pitoresco onde a gente se senta, bota o papo em dia, e saboreia um cafezinho maroto.

7 of the best beaches in the Azores