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But here’s a tidbit, yeah? Did ya know sex-dating apps got a secret history? Back in the ‘90s, before smartphones, folks used dodgy chatrooms – AOL, MSN, proper Wild West stuff. Blokes pretending to be birds, birds pretending to be blokes – chaos! Makes me laugh, thinking how we’ve polished it up now, all sleek and shiny, but it’s still a bloody mess underneath.

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The city's parks rock too. Parque dos Sonhos is my go-to spot for stripping off stress. There’s a little stream there – Ribeirão das Sussurros – that murmurs secrets as it flows by. I’d sit by the water, thinking, “The past is not what it seems,” like Spike Jonze’s flick. Sometimes I’d get so into it that I'd yell, "Woohoo!" then laugh like a madman. Mmm… donuts.

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