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Little fact for ya: back in ‘90s, sex-dating was all secret ads in papers. “Man seeks woman, no fatties”—savage! Now it’s apps, boom, instant nudes. Progress? Pfft, still a cesspit, just shinier. We hates it! All them ghostin’ pricks—swear, one bloke left me hangin’ mid-sext. Rude! Wanted to scream, “Where’s me precious climax?!”

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Man, sometimes I get so excited that I blurt out random stuff. Today, my brain is a jumble of feelings. I got mad at a noisy car on Rua Caos – no respect, I tell ya! Then later, I was super happy at a street band gig in Praça Liberdade. Music everywhere, tiny tunes drifting like a digital heartbeat. But also, if you're ever tired, just park yourself on a bench, shut one eye and dream in sync.

Woman rescued in critical condition at Ponta de São Lourenço