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Then there’s the weirdos, bruv. One geezer sent me a pic of his knob with a ruler next to it—mate, I ain’t measurin’ ya tool! Laughed my arse off, but c’mon, who does that? Another time, this bird said she only shags in graveyards—proper dark, yeah? Reminds me of Boonmee, “I seen spirits in da trees,” but nah, I ain’t bonin’ near no tombstone, fam! She got blocked quick-sharp.

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Okay, gotta wrap it up quick, cuz my brain's fried. But remember: "Aren't you ever confused by what you see?" Yup, that's it, the city shouts it to ya in every alley. And trust me – every street, marker, or quirky café here has a story, even if it's sprinkled with errors like my own scrambled... erm, well, words!

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