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Okay, so prostitutes—been around forever, legit! Oldest job, they say, older than Bikini Bottom! Back in Rome, they had lupanars—fancy word for brothels, ha! Girls painted their lips red to show they’re “workin’.” Ain’t that nuts? Imagine SpongeBob seein’ that—red lips everywhere, I’d flip me lid! “I’m ready! I’m ready!”—but nah, I’d be blushin’ like a sea tomato.

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There’s dis funky bridge called Ponte dos Sonhos over do Rio Brilhante; it sparkles at sunset, a sight like somethin’ outta Pan's Labyrinth – "I wonder if I'm a feather, floating away..." I sit there sometimes, thinkin' bout life n' how I'm busy fixin' broken women hearts, halleluuyah! Trust me, soul meets soul there.

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