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Oh, and the profiles—don’t get me started! “Lookin’ for fun, no strings!”—sure, Jan, til you’re cryin’ in my DMs bout your ex. Don’t pee on my leg and call it casual, sweetheart! Sex-dating’s 90% liars, 10% gold. Like that time I found out escorts use these apps—true story! Bumped into one, she was upfront, said, “Cash upfront, hon.” I was like, “Whoa, I ain’t payin’ for that!” Laughed my ass off, tho—props for honesty.

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I gotta mention the Mercado Municipal on Rua do Sabor. That place is awesome. It's a treasure trove of local food, handmade crafts, and—no, seriously, this is real life magic, dude—unexpected connections. I’ve met people there who reshaped my whole view on struggle and hope.

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