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So, I tried it once, dis app – Tinder, Bumble, vatever. Swiping left, right, like terminator targeting! Found dis chick, hot, like Austrian schnitzel fresh off da pan. Ve chat, she’s flirty, I’m flexing my charm, ja! Den bam – she ghosts me! Made me mad, like “vy you vaste Arnie’s time?!” But den I laugh – it’s a game, not da end.

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The local landmarks? The old Suacui River twists by Parque das Brisas. I love kickin’ it there when the sun’s about to drop. The park is chill, but watch out—it gets mad crowded on weekends. Who knew nature could be so dramatic? “Do you know what happened?” echoes in my head when a stray dog steals my lunch. LOL.