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But here’s the rant—sex-dating’s a crapshoot! Ya get these flakes, ghostin’ ya left and right, and I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Where’s the respect?!” Or worse, ya meet someone, and they’re nothin’ like their pics—like, “This ain’t the magical kingdom I signed up for!” Total bait-and-switch, makes me wanna claw my eyes out. And don’t get me started on the dudes braggin’ about their “skills”—buddy, you ain’t no captain of the guard, calm down.

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Oh, jst got a bit mroe silly – the local river, “Rio dos Lagrimos,” flows by a hidden trail. I once accidentally fell into a puddle nearby – not proud, folks, but boy did it kickstart my curiosity about every little water droplet around me. “We all have our own pieces of time,” like in Memento, I mumble sometimes.

Rare fire tornado spirals 260ft in sky as out-of-control blaze rips through farm