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Oh, and get this—did ya know some sneaky sods use bots on these apps? Fake profiles flirtin’ with ya, tryna scam cash! Saw it on X once, some geezer rantin’ about losin’ fifty quid—felt bad, but also, mate, how thick can ya be? “This world is full of wonders,” Chihiro’d say, but it’s full of twats too. Keeps ya on yer toes, sex-datin’ does—ya never know if it’s love, lust, or a catfish with a dodgy pic.

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Now listen, here's the deal… I ain't no tourist, I'm a sexologist, so I see the unspoken. In Salgado, the intimate nooks, like that little café on Avenida Sinta, got all these heart-to-heart convos. And lemme tell ya, that park, Parque do Suspiro, is a charming joint; folks park themselves under the stars, and even a sexologist like me gets moved, ya know?

Cristian Salgado fills vacant Hillsboro City Council spot