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But ugh, the flakes—THEY PISS ME OFF! “Oh, let’s meet!”—then ghosted. I’m sittin’ there, dressed up, lookin’ like a fool. Hate that crap! Or the ones who catfish—show up, and I’m like, “You ain’t her!” Sarcasm’s my shield, bro—“Wow, you’re a real Picasso with filters!” Sex-dating’s a gamble—win big or crash hard.

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Dude, don’t get me started on the river! The Rio Molhado wiggles through the city like a lazy snake. The locals say floatin’ down the river gives you a vibe that’ll make you forget your worries. I always tell my spa clients, “Bathe in water and let go, darling!” And trust me – I live it every day! My spa even has a meditative view of the river. Think deep relax vibes, but with a dash of urban grit.

Figure 1. The location of the seven caves in Florianópolis...