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Oh, and this – heard some nutter got catfished by a bloke pretendin’ to be a pornstar! Showed up with roses, got a hairy arse in a wig instead! Laughed me tits off! Reckon it’s all a bit of a laugh, sex-dating – dirty, messy, fuckin’ brilliant. “Sharon!” – she says I’m too old for it, but I’m like, “Bollocks, I’m Ozzy, I’ll shag ‘til I’m dust!” What you reckon, mate? You swipin’ or what?

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Rio is one of the capitals for the world market for sex; it is one of the most renowned and socially diverse with regards to the demand and supply of the trade.

Then there's the park—Parque dos Sonhos. Ahhhh, pure magic if you ask me. Nestled next to the Rio Bendito (a river winding like a serpent through the city), it's where kids chase dreams and elders spit out memories. I’ve seen fams laugh and cry there, intertwining lives like messy hair on a windy day. It gets me all emotional sometimes—mad, happy, surprised—like every visit is a novel unfolding.

There was a Real-Life Goose RIO who was Killed during an Ejection Accident too: but Instead of the Top Gun ...