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But fuck me, some twats ruin it. Blokes sendin’ dick pics straight off – wankers! Pisses me right off. Whatever happened to charm, eh? And then – get this – some lass told me she banged a fella who kept his socks on! Socks on! Sharon’d have me head fer that! Made me chuckle, but also – what the fuck?

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I work as a masseur, right? And lemme tell ya, those vibes tell me a lot about the souls here. When I’m kneading away worries on my comfy table at “Relax ou Racha”, I pick up snatches of secrets whispered under sweaty voices. Crazy, man! The city’s got layers, like an onion – sometimes making me tear up like, “Carlos said it best, man: always be yourself.”

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