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Me? I’d be all about it—‘til the bill hits. $200 for a rub? Nah, fam, that’s robbery! Gets me pissed—why’s it gotta cost an arm and a leg? But then, picturin’ it—soft lights, some chick whisperin’ sweet nothings, hands everywhere—I’m like, “Oh, I could live forever in this.” Straight outta that “Mulholland” line, ya feel me? Total dream-state shit. Ever tried it? Bet you’d be surprised—half the time it’s legit therapy, other half it’s… well, Joey knows what’s up, wink-wink.

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And, funnily, as a spa owner, I'm always spotting hidden spots. My fave? A tiny alley off Largo da Paz. It’s a secret zen retreat with tiny murals and a neat taco stand. I once had a heart-to-heart with an old lady there about the meaning of life – felt like a scene straight out of "The Great Beauty." I nearly teared up, man. Life's a movie, right?

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