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Oh, and the profiles—fuckin’ hilarious! “I like pizza and sex.” No shit, Sherlock, who doesn’t? Idiots think they’re deep writin’ that. I’d rather shag Samantha’s voice than date these clowns. “Her” taught me one thing—connection’s rare, even in sex-dating. You’re chasin’ a buzz, but it’s all surface-level bollocks. Still, I’d give it a go again—maybe I’m the idiot sandwich here! What you reckon, you daft prick?

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Parks, you ask? Oi, check out Parque do Seis, my fave jogging spot. I literally feel every tree deep in my soul. I've had those "aha" moments there—sometimes tearful, sometimes mad, mostly free. But hey, every time I think "we must fight for our dreams," it's like the park cheers me up, just like in those epic documentary recall scenes in The Act of Killing.

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