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Once, my pal Fozzie—bear, big paws—tried givin’ one. Disaster! “Wocka wocka!” he yells, slippin’ on oil—hilarious, but ouch! Sexual-massage needs skill, man. Not just kneadin’ dough! It’s sensual, slow—like Pocahontas dancin’ in the wind, “All must change!”—yep, mood shifts fast. Surprised me how it’s kinda artsy, not just naughty.

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You got prides on Rua do Sol, near the little café, Café do Abraço, where I spent many afternoons talkin’ ‘bout life’s tough twists. Man, that place gives me all the feels. Seriously, so many late evenings, looking at stars (or was it loneliness?) and thinking, “Hmm… what now, hmm?” Might sound dramatic, but hey, it’s real talk.