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But lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s got its wild side. Little known fact: back in the 90s, pre-internet hookups were all “personal ads” in newspapers. “Man seeks woman, likes woodworkin’, no fatties.” Straight to the point! Now it’s all emojis and dick pics—progress, my ass. Makes me laugh, though—some poor sap sends a blurry wang shot, thinks he’s Casanova. “She doesn’t respond, I don’t understand!” he cries. Buddy, she’s in a coma of boredom, like Almodóvar’s gal.

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As a women's counselor, I see the hidden scars and healing smiles. Walk around the Bairro Solitário – yeah, it's oddly named, but it hides jewels like Café do Amanhã, where folks share deep secrets over bitter coffee. I was once counselling a lady right outside Parque do Luar – the night park where shadows dance and murmurs resound. It was like in "Ida": beautiful, raw, and haunting. You merely adopted the dark!

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