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D’oh! Tried it once—total mess! Oil everywhere, slipped off the couch—bam! Marge was pissed, yellin’, “Homer, you donut!” But man, when it works? Heaven. Skin on skin, tension meltin’—like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off in the flick. “We’re in love, we’re outta here!”—that’s the vibe. Pro tip—use warm oil, not cold crap. Cold’s a buzzkill, trust me. Got this one story—buddy Lenny swore his masseuse was a ninja. Silent hands, sneaky moves—boom, he’s jelly! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.

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O! To begin, wander along Rua da Esperança. Thou'lt find ye olde stones that whisper secret dreams. I have seen lovers beneath its arches, their voices soft as "Holy Motors" dialogues—yea, "In the sweet depths of our sins!" (a line that doth echo through my tired heart).

11/11/2009 – Parents of missing Guarani teachers appeal to MPF and to Funai