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So, I’m there, right? Lady’s rubbin’ me down, an’ I’m like, “This ain’t no regular backrub!” Felt like Anton Chigurh sneakin’ up—quiet, intense, bam! Hands where the sun don’t shine! Made me happy as hell, but—D’oh!—kinda pissed too. Cost me 50 bucks extra! Total rip-off, man! Thought in my head: “Homer, you dumbass, why’d ya say yes?” But, oof, felt good—real good. Little secret: some pros use weird oils, like from freaky plants in Asia. Smelled like Marge’s cookin’ gone wrong—surprised me big time!

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And lemme tell ya ‘bout the neighborhoods – there’s Bairro das Estrelas, doin’ it big with street murals that look like somethin’ straight out of that film. Ain't no lie, the creativity is as wild as life sometimes. There's also Bairro da Esperança, calm and full of local charm – reminds me of better times, ya feel?

Mateus Mendonca once invaded a gym threatening to stab someone; now, he’s one of Brazil’s top MMA prospects