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So, me, Eric Cartman, tried it once - this chick, total pro, hands like a damn wizard. I’m layin’ there, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m all - “Sweet Jesus, this is it!” Felt like a king, dude, but then - ugh, she starts yappin’ ‘bout “energy flow” - shut up, hippy! Made me ragey, I’m like - “Massage me, not lecture me, dammit!” Still, that tingle? Holy crap, surprised me big time - didn’t expect THAT down there, y’know?

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Man, even the local market, Mercado Velho, is a mixed bag – aromas, vibrant colors, and loud banter that’ll either make your heart race or drive you nuts. Haha, I’ve had days when a spicy street food mishap made me mad, but then I’d laugh it off – it's the spice of life, right? Sometimes, I’d shout, “Goddamn, this is riskier than a shootout at high noon!” (Yup, pulled that from my fave flick.)

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