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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Freakin’ sweet deal if ya ask me. Some dude pays for a hot chick to hang out—way better than sittin’ alone like a loser! Reminds me of *Her*, ya know, that movie where Joaquin’s all “Oh, I love my AI girlfriend!” Escorts are like that, but real—flesh, boobs, the whole package! “I’m not a mistake!”—that’s what they’d say, struttin’ around, makin’ cash.

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There's a small river too, the Rio Una, flowin’ real gentle. My spa, yeah, it's near the riverbank in the Bairro do Sol. Ain’t fancy—but so real. I remember one crazy rainy day, hurrying across Avenida Palestra, almost gettin' drenched like a soaked mess. It made me super mad, but also made me laugh—life's weird, innit?

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