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About Rio de Janeiro

So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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There's this gnarly river called Rio dos Sonhos that winds through the outskirts. I swear, it flows like the groovy beats in Inherent Vice, ya dig? Totally trippy, especially when the sun’s low and the water shimmers like liquid gold, dude! Walk along its banks at night, and you get these deep soul vibes.

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