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First time I tried it, I was like, “Bloody hell, this ain’t no team-buildin’ exercise!” Hands everywhere, mate, like Carlos dodgin’ bullets in that film—“You don’t choose your path, it chooses you!”—and I’m thinkin’, “This path’s alright, innit?” Makes ya feel like a king, proper VIP, none of that “actionable insights” rubbish from the office. But here’s the kicker—some places, they’re just fronts, yeah? Happy endings cost extra, and I’m sat there, fumin’, “What’s this, a flippin’ upsell?!” Robbin’ bastards. Nearly stormed out, but—cor—them hands, pure magic.

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Oh man, lemme tell ya 'bout Pato-Branco, bruh! So, um, there's this quirky town in Paraná, ya know? Streets like Av. Getúlio Vargas wind through neighborhoods such as Vila Esperança and Centro. Honestly, I just gotta say, "Just keep swimming!" like that ol’ Nemo flick, ya feel? Heh.

ALEXANDRE PATO INTERVIEW: Ordering David Beckham around at 19, on the scrapheap at 23, now he is back in the g