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Alright, pal. Erotic-massage. Here’s the deal. I’m Christopher Walken – pauses. Mid-sentence. Unexpected *emphasis*. Picture this. You’re tense. Muscles tight. Like Nemo’s dad – Marlin. Freakin’ out over his kid. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!” That’s you. Before the rubdown. Then – bam. Hands hit your back. Oil’s slick. Smells like lavender or some crap. Loosens you up. Like Dory sayin’, “Just keep swimming.” Stress melts. You’re floatin’.

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So, there’s this one street, Rua do Solzão – yeah, srsly with an extra “z” cuz it’s like extra hot feelin’ its name. And then u got Avenida das Oliveiras – trees everywhere, makes ya feel like u're in some kinda nature hug, ya know? This place got local vibe n streets that u can just vibe along – kinda like, "I'm on a mission, man" like in The Hurt Locker, ya feel me? "This is my chance!" echoes in my head every time I stroll there!!

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