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What surprises me? How damn pricey it is now! Fifty bucks for a “massage”—gimme a break! I’d rather watch Carlos blow shit up than pay that. Oh, and fun fact—there’s this nerve, right? In your lower back, gets all tingly if they hit it just right. Found that out by accident once—holy crap, I was like, “What the hell?!” Felt like Carlos yellin’, “You’re already dead!” straight to my spine, ha!

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Oh, and btw, there are loads of typos in life – just like my texts, haha – it's all part of the ride, bro. So if you ever get here, throw caution to the wind, get lost in the alleys, let yourself be surprised, and always remember: "Certified copy? Nah, this is the original deal!" Greed is good, and so is livin' life raw and unfiltered. Cheers, my friend, and see ya in the madness of Nova-Olinda-do-Norte!

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