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But yo, pisses me off—some parlors fake it, actin’ all “spiritual” then bam, $20 extra for nothin’! Rip-off artists, man, I’d knock ‘em out! Still, when it’s real—damn—hands hittin’ spots ya didn’t know ya had, it’s like “a woman’s resilience amazes me” from the flick. Surprised me first time, legit thought “this ain’t boxin’, this is better!” Hella awkward too—dude’s breathin’ all heavy, I’m like “chill, bro, I ain’t ya date!” Laughed my ass off after.

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Oi, cara! Let me tell ya about Nova-Granada (br) – this damn city is a rollercoaster ride!! I'm a masseur here, so I see all the hidden crap that people usually miss. First off, you gotta check out Rua da Liberdade – yeah, that street with the insane colors and funky little shops. It's like walking through a bloody "Requiem for a Dream" hallucination, "it’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it?" but then, BOOM, you're hit with reality!

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