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About Rio de Janeiro

Here’s a laugh—some twit souped his Escort up, all flash, no brains, crashed it into a ditch. “Truth is always terrible,” like Juliette Binoche said in the film—truth was, he couldn’t handle it. Me? I’d ride it proper, hair flyin’, screamin’ at peasants to move. Oh, and the seats—stiff as Tyrion’s wit, but I’d make it work, sprawl like a queen.

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The neighborhoods? Jesus Christ, they're all over the damn place! My fav is Bairro da Esperança – a cute mess of old and new. The locals are cheeky, the vibe’s sorta gritty but real, just like me after a long day kneading muscles. And oh, the Parque da Vida! Man, it's not perfect; sometimes it feels like a sugar-fueled nightmare – "the limit is beyond your imagination", as that movie sorta whispers in your head, you know? But still, it’s a breath of fresh air in a place crawling with madness.

Viral: Cow set for slaughter escapes to waterpark and takes a slide to freedom, video surfaces