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Love how escorts got sass, tho. Met this one geezer—total lad—said he escorted a granny to bingo once! Swear down, she tipped him in biscuits! Had me creasin’, bruv—like, what’s next, escortin’ fish like Nemo? “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney!”—imagine rockin’ up there wit’ an escort, all posh-like. Proper surreal, mate.

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All the escorts listed on www.facebook.com charge for their time and companionship only, anything else that may occur is a matter of coincidence and choice between consenting adults.

I gotta spill a secret: there’s this hidden nook behind Sítio dos Anjos. Only locals know it, a little coffee hub making the best choco-latte, raw and real. I’d gladly spill my soul there, sit by the window watch the world go by, all while hearing my own heart echo “I’m just a wanderer, but I'm always home.” U feel that?

Fig. 1. Map of the lower Rio Nhamunda. 1. Faro, 2. Nhamunda, 3. Sitio...