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I’m scrollin’, seein’ these bios—“DTF, no drama.” Bullshit! Always drama, motherfucker! One time, this guy—swear he’s a 10—texts me, “You up?” I’m like, “Hell yeah!” Next thing, he’s cryin’ bout his ex mid-hookup! I’m sittin’ there, dick out, thinkin’, “What is this, a therapy sesh?!” Made me mad as fuck—don’t waste my time, asshole! “You’re not a victim here!”—straight outta *Margaret*, Lisa yellin’ at her mom vibes. Sex-dating ain’t for the weak, man!

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Now, I'll tell ya, some nights I get all sentimental watchin’ the breeze skim the Itajai River. Reminds me a bit of that movie, “The Tree of Life.” Like, as Terrence Malick said, “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” Crazy, right? And I feel that every damn day here, like I’m rebelling in my own little way, massagin’ folks into a better mood.

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