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Listen up, idiot sandwich! Been readin’ up—did ya know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, cos they howled for clients. How’s that for a laugh? Makes me wanna scream—bloody brilliant! But nah, some of these modern escorts? Lazy sods! Charging a grand for what? A wink and a cold coffee? Piss off! I’d cook ‘em a better night—lamb shank, boom, sorted!

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