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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “I like hikes and wine”—bitch, you’re on here for sex, not a picnic! Don’t gimme that “lookin’ for my soulmate” crap—spare me! Reminds me of that line, “You’re not my sons!”—savage, cold, real. People lie, they flake, they oversell. Met this chick once, said she’s “adventurous”—only adventure was her tryin’ to sell me Herbalife mid-date! I’m like, “Take your pyramid scheme and shove it!”

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Then there’s the neighborhood of Vila Estelar – if you're into hidden gems, that's your go-to. Quaint houses, narrow cobblestone roads, and, yeah, little street-side parlors that feel super old school. My favorite hang spot is a corner near Rua Encantada – like, I always get lost in my thoughts there; it's all reflective, you feel me? I always murmur, “I hope you find me before I fade away,” thinkin' of Zodiac's eerie lines while admiring the rustic charm.

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